Oh, hey, quickie PSA, if you felt the midwest earthquake today, you should go to the GSPS and report what you experienced.

In other news, the sore throat is slightly less painful, but otherwise my cold lingers on. Feh. I hate being sick.

So, a few stills of the costuming for Silken Floss have turned up on the net.

Apparently in addition from being transformed from a nuclear physicist/surgeon to an "evil secretary", she's also been turned into an evil secretary who's too stupid to remember to put on a shirt.

Note to costumers: A push-up bra under a suit jacket is not a retro look. It was a briefly fashionable look a decade ago, and it was incredibly tacky then, too.

Why, oh why, are they letting Miller desecrate Eisner's work?

I mean, aside from some lingering con crud from Katsucon. But I wasn't really any sicker Friday than I'd been Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

From: Building Services
Sent: Friday, February 22, 2008 4:47 AM
Subject: Delayed Office Opening - Fri Feb 22

Due to inclement weather, the ... Office will open at 10:00am today, Friday February 22nd. Thank you.

From: Building Services
Sent: Friday, February 22, 2008 12:31 PM
Subject: Early Closing

Good afternoon, The ... Office will be closing at 1pm due to the inclement weather. Thank you.

Because I'm totally psychic and knew that was going to happen, and there was no way I was going to drag my sick self out of bed, excavate my car, and drive through horrible conditions, just to be sent back home. I think not.

The folks who made it in did get free pizza for lunch. I don't really think pizza would have made it worth it, though.

I came in this morning to find this in my email inbox:

From: Corporate Services
Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2008 9:37 PM
To: ALL
Subject: Delayed Office Opening - Wed Feb 13
Importance: High

Due to inclement weather, the [...] Office will open at 10:00am on Wednesday February 13th. Thank you.

Corporate Services

There was a similarly themed voicemail, also timed at nine-thirtyish pm.

Guess when I got these messages? If you guessed "when I got into the office on time", you get a gold star.

*headdesk*

Bill would make it illegal to feed the obese (USA Today)

House Bill No. 282, which was introduced this month, says:

Any food establishment to which this section applies shall not be allowed to serve food to any person who is obese, based on criteria prescribed by the State Department of Health after consultation with the Mississippi Council on Obesity Prevention and Management established under Section 41-101-1 or its successor. The State Department of Health shall prepare written materials that describe and explain the criteria for determining whether a person is obese, and shall provide those materials to all food establishments to which this section applies. A food establishment shall be entitled to rely on the criteria for obesity in those written materials when determining whether or not it is allowed to serve food to any person.

Mississipi Lawmakers Propose Banning Fat People From Restaurants (Alas, a blog)

Mississippi legislators seek to bar restaurants from serving fat people (Feministe)

I just got this email to one of my personal email addresses (which I emphatically do not give out to customers):

sarudy,

I apologize for contacting you at your personal email address. On the weekend, no less! But I am having a problem with the [product] that you helped me launch. And this can't wait until Monday.

[Two paragraphs explaining problem in detail.]

I've already left voicemail and have sent email correspondence to [the department that actually does handle such issues], but no one has replied. Can you escalate this for me? Someone must be on call during the weekend for emergencies. They can contact me at ...

Thanks in advance for your help.

--[Customer]

I have to assume that the customer did a Google search on my name, found my resume, and used the email contact on that. I'll grant that he would not have recieved a response from the regular channels until Tuesday (we're closed Monday, which I am sure he did not know), and that it was conceivably a revenue-affecting issue, but that really doesn't make contacting me personally any less creepy.

I considered just ignoring it, but the kindness of my heart kicked in. I sent him a quick note apologizing that I have no access to work systems from home... and blind copied my boss's work email. I happen to know that my boss checks his work email on weekends (he has a blackberry/leash) and he also supervises the people who do fix problems like the one in question. Lo!, my boss replied to the customer and said he'd look into it.

I feel conflicted. One the one hand, tracking me down like that distinctly crosses a boundary, and I don't want to encourage that sort of thing. On the other hand, it feels wrong to be able to help someone and just not do it out of orneryness. We'll see how things played out when I go into work on Tuesday...

Sending me an email to tell me "There is an error with [customer]'s website"[1] is about as useful to me as an email subject line consisting solely of "RE: website"[2].

I don't expect an essay long explanation with every contingency covered, but maybe we could start with any information at all?

[1] Note that, historically, approximately 33% of things you consider to be "errors" are either the way things are supposed to be (but you didn't understand what you were selling) or are exactly what you asked for.

[2] Note that every. single. thing. that I do here involves a website in one way or another. Thanks ever so much for narrowing it down.

Two important facts here. One, we work normal business hours M-F, just like most other businesses. Two, we have a two business day turnaround time for requests. (Not that I take that long if I can at all help it, but that's the official timeframe.)

Customer sends us a couple of emails on Friday, maybe 3ish. Then, on Saturday, about 1 in the afternoon, we get

"[thing] that was sent late on Thursday does not seem to be complete. Please advise. In addition, I sent you two Emails on Friday. I did not receive any response."

The Thursday thing, by the way, was something that belongs to another department, and takes slightly longer to process. The customer was told this. You know how I know? Because I heard my fellow rep tell him. More than once.

::headdesk:: I get that he's just eager. But, just... Dude, relax! It's the grown up version of "Are We There Yet?" and it does not endear.

Todays definition of restraint - Keeping all hint of "I think you're a moron" out of my tone of voice while explaining to the customer that typing an email address into their browser won't get an email to us.

How can someone who received the instruction to "email us the stuff at 123@example.com" via email not have some inkling of the difference between email and a web page? It's not even the first customer who's said "I keep putting 123@example.com into my browser and it comes up page not found".

Come on, people. This isn't even an advanced concept here!

Pop quiz, kids.

I am working. I am clearly frustrated with our system and working hard to try to get something done anyway. You know a metric fuckload less about this system than I do. Poll #1062818
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

What do you do?

If you took the second choice, clearly you have met me before.

It's not that I'm anti-social, really. But how can anyone who's worked near me for months still not pick up that I hate being interrupted when I am trying to focus?

AAAAAUUUGH!

Dear Customer,

We work normal business hours. Well, ok, we have phone coverage until 7pm, but basically we're a 9-5 operation. Sending an email at 10pm asking for a same-day turnaround is... a sign of great optimism. I commend you on your positive outlook. I also thank you for your comment that "tomorrow [Friday] would be ok, too." It was very generous of you to extend your deadline like that.

I'll get right on it. No really. You're one of my better frequent flyers and I'm amused rather than annoyed.

 

Dear Less-Amusing Customer,

Time spent on your account is billable. I'm really generous about logging as little time as possible, but telling me not to charge you time because "it's just corrections" guarantees every minute I work is getting put on your account.

Oh, and "I changed my mind; Try a different font," is not an error. And it sure as heck isn't an error on our part.

Neither is "Oh, wait, I just thought of something else to add."

In fact, after completing your request, there were four formatting changes, two hand-written additions and exactly one correction - of something that was wrong in the original document you provided.

I have more than one of these.

Rep: OMG! Is broken! Fix now pls!
Us : That's because you forgot to tell us A and B when you put in the order. Send us the info and we'll get right on it.
Rep: (deafening silence)
(1-3 weeks pass)
Rep: OMG! Is broken! Fix now pls!
Us : We can't fix that until we get A and B from you.
Rep: (deafening silence)
(1-3 weeks pass)
Rep: OMG! Is broken for a month!!!! Fix now pls!
Us : (headdesk)

Sometimes it goes on:

Rep: OMG! Is still broken! I call manager!
Rep's manager : Why not fixed?
Us : (forward multiple requests for A and B to Rep's manager)
Rep: A and B
Us : Thank you. Fixed!
Rep: Why do you people always take so long to fix anything?

I tell you -- reading comprehension is a lost art.

aiskon Can't Win

aiskon's car is still leaking fuel. I'm driving today while the mechanic gives it another try. This is some stubborn car trouble!

We Need A New Rule

Nobody is allowed to send anxious follow-ups to routine email requests right after sending the request. No, three hours is not long enough. We have a target turnaround of two business days, folks. I got two more of these freakouts today. I'm stressed out enough about being understaffed as it is. Breathing down my neck does not help.

The Cough That Never Ends

I think I am just going to have this cough for all eternity.

I joined Spark People

Not that I'm doing anything but kidding myself, but it is a nice tracker/support system and all.

My profile page is here.

Dear customer:

1. You do not get to send me an email five minutes after sending your request asking when it's going to be done.
2. If you really need it done by Monday, maybe you should have tried getting it to us before Friday afternoon.

No love, sarudy.

P.S. Yes, it will probably get done before I go home today. No, I am not going to send you a reply saying so. You'll find out when I send the completion notice.

Turns out there's a coda to Tuesday nights tow truck fiasco.

This morning, fortunately before I had left for work, my phone rang. Early morning phone calls are rarely good news. It was aiskon, calling from her mechanic's place. It seems she'd stopped for gas and the attendant informed her that her gas tank had a leak. Presumably something done during the repair work yesterday didn't seal right.

So I headed out, left a message on my boss's voicemail that I'd be a bit late, and fetched aiskon. The mechanic was not yet open, so she left a note. I drove her off to work, and then made it to work myself. Amazingly, I was only 15 minutes behind schedule (my voicemail to the boss estimated 30-60 minutes, so I got to send him a "not so late after all" note once I was at my desk.)

I'll be fetching aiskon from work this evening, and presumably heading to the mechanic for a more successful resolution.

Think kind thoughts for aiskon today. She could use the good vibes.

I just got sent this at work (a customer sent it to a co-worker, who passed it around): Muslim Demonstration. (I wasn't send the link, but the actual email, but you know...) The customer had noted at the top: "Please take a moment from your busy schedules and take a look at these pictures. They are not shown in any of our newspapers or television programs. They are, however, the truth that we must face, because they may very well represent the future we leave to our children."

Two of my co-workers can't see how the entire point of the email is hatemongering. My boss backed me up on my objection, though, at least.

*sigh*

I am at home at 4:30, even though I normally work until 5pm. Cause the network at work is run by idiots.

Ever since Daylight Saving Time kicked in, my Outlook calendar at work has been having trouble telling time. I didn't worry much about it, because I don't rely on it much. This morning today, my computer clock was an hour ahead, so I fixed it, using the time and date tool. This was apparently, a horrible mistake. Later on, I noticed my network drives were acting up, so I rebooted. And could not log in. At all. Because "the time on your computer is different from the network time". Helpdesk has been outsourced to another location, and the phone support was useless. So they put in a ticket, and someone will be by in person... eventually. After half an hour, the boss sent me home.

So, I got a couple hours off today rather than sit until 5 twiddling my thumbs.

Webcast Royalty Rate Announced

Pullquote: That math suggests that the royalty rate decision — for the performance alone, not even including composers' royalties! — is in the in the ballpark of 100% or more of total revenues.

Radio Paradise notes:

For some time, we've suffered with a system where we pay a large chunk (10%-12%) of our income to the Big 4 record companies - while FM stations and radio conglomerates like Clear Channel pay nothing. Now they want even more. In our case, an amount equal to 125% of our income. Our only hope is to create as much public awareness and outrage about this staggeringly unfair situation as possible. Neither the record industry nor Congress are ready to listen to us at this point. But members of the public (and the media) may well be, and we need to get their attention.

The rates are clearly intended to put music webcasts out of business. This is apparently the RIAA once again deciding that that they want to keep folks like me from buying their products.

You see, last year I bought a whopping 6 music CDs. I realize that doesn't make me a huge music consumer, but it's significant to note that that's 6 more CDs than I've purchased since sometime around 1993. I stopped buying music because most of my music exposure comes from friends and radio. Post-college, I just didn't hang out with as many music evangelists, and radio is so homogenized there's never anything of interest (and anything I do like is guaranteed to be overplayed until I'm sick of it anyway, so why spend the money?)

A little while back, though, I started listening to web radio (live 365, last.fm, pandora) and found there was actually stuff out there I like. So when I bought a car with a CD player in it, I picked up a few CDs (and found my dusty decade-and-a-half collection under some boxes).

So if the RIAA manages to shut down all music venues but Clearchannel, then all that's going to happen is I'll stop buying music again. That's not a vindictive boycott, and I don't mean I'll be going to "piracy" -- I'll just no longer find the music I like, and thus won't seek it out and buy it.

Because for some off reason they don't want me to buy any of their products. Isn't that weird behavior for a bunch of capitalists? The more they tighten their grip, the more customers will slip thru their fingers.

So, I called the emergency hotline they made such a fuss about this morning, and the announcement still said we were on a two-hour-delay opening.

I just drove for an hour to go twelve miles, on uncleared slush-covered roads, over a small mountain, and when I walked in, they closed the building. They couldn't have changed the recording.

I have this email:

Due to the deteriorating conditions of the weather, the office is going to be closed. You will still have access to the building if you’re planning to come in and if you’re already in, you are free to enter and exit the building with your ID. Security has been having issues with the hotline and I am working with them to get the situation rectified. I will keep updated with any new information. Thank you.

Gah. I'm taking a few minutes to cover a few things and then I will head back through the mess. Yay.